Criminals Learn How to Use Craigslist (for transgressions other than rape and murder)

Petty criminals are getting into the Craigslist game, with snow-seekers, weed warriors, bookies – even “outlaw” motorcycle clubs are recruiting through the Internet.

Then the Naked Bike Ride was yesterday, bringing its own brand of weirdness. When you think about it, the salmon-swimming-upstream metaphor is quite apt: douches gather here once a year and bring their A-game mating displays: creative nudity, bike-riding, knowledge of obscure music and an inexplicable love of insane glasses and/or body paint.

Of course, there’s a lot of other weird shit, too. This is Craigslist. Hell, this is Philly.

What’s next, Craigslist weed dealers?

Oh, wait …

Yeah, but would beef with other senior citizen dance crews cause more flash mobs?

I would suggest bio-hazardous waste disposal.

Dude, there’s no [literal] snow in Philly and it’s not the 80s anymore. Everybody totally knows what you mean.

Watch a shitton of Sons of Anarchy? These are your people.

There’s gotta be an ironic pun in here somewhere.

No, it is your fault. Because you chose a pyramid scheme over a real job.

Well, now that you mention it …

So, people go blindly along with the globalist plan of ridding America of its checks and balances propagated by big bought-and-sold media … and you go blindly along with Ron Paul rhetoric propagated by The Alex Jones Show?

This particular brand of work-from-home scam ad has been fascinating me lately. How to you segue from cash poor moms to a mezzotint of Martha Washington?

This is in no way pandering to closeted conservatives who fantasize that every gay man is a drunk, lubed-up, rainbow-draped beefcake.

I think we can all agree: a professional anything should be able to spell “professional.”

Just goes to show, one man’s target of disgust and extermination is another man’s ideal pet. Or something like that.

Gross pet #2: a squirmy rat. That bites.

Amazing idea. And I hope leotards are involved.

Welcome to the neighborhood! What did you say? Oh, that’s just the sound of our passive aggression making us quietly explode inside.

Aaand the obligatory Naked Bike ride posts.

I’m actually kinda with this guy on this one.

Bicycling. Partial nudity. The String Cheese Incident. Northern Liberties. When you think about it, the Naked Bike Ride is a hipster mating ground of sorts, like salmon swimming upstream once a year to breed. And this post perfectly encapsulates it.

More from our Sister Sites