NSFW Video: Naked NJ man masturbates after crashing into Crown Fried Chicken

No. We didn’t make this up.

Earlier today, Victor Fiorillo from PhillyMag.com posted an NSFW video that was sent to him of a man from Pennsauken, N.J., who, after crashing his car into a Crown Fried Chicken in North Philadelphia, proceeded to take off all his clothes and allegedly masturbate in front of onlookers.

Well, we don’t know if he was actually masturbating. But he does do something with his backside we wish we could unsee.

Fiorillo wrote that the man who shot the video said the naked guy was “definitely making himself feel happy.”

PhillyMag.com posted the police report. Here it is:

On January 27, 2014, at approximately 10:30 am, police responded to 500 West Lehigh Avenue for an auto accident. Upon their arrival officers observed a vehicle on the curbside of the southwest corner of 5th & Lehigh Avenue. The male operator was seated in the driver’s seat of a 2007 Silver Camry with no shirt on. The male was asked to step out of the vehicle and when he, did the male was unable to stand on his own. His clothes were torn off and he was unable to respond to police questions. Witnesses to the accident stated that the male was operating his vehicle west on Lehigh Avenue and then veered across the intersection at 5th Street and drove on to the curb hitting a fixed object. After the accident,the male operator exited the vehicle and began removing his clothing and yelling. He then attempted to drive off; however, someone was able to remove the keys and hold them until police arrived. The operator was identified as 34 year old ######### from Pennsauken, New Jersey. He was charged with Driving Under the Influence; no injuries reported.

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