File this under athletes being stupid — again.
Remember those hilarious Saturday Night Live skits featuring Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri dressed as cheerleaders. They were always searching for — and inevitably finding — the Perfect Cheer. It is arguably one of the best SNL skits of all-time. So maybe the San Francisco Giants’ Aubrey Huff had just finished watching a Will Ferrell marathon when he decided to leap a railing and give Matt Cain the perfect cheer to celebrate his perfect game.
Instead, Huff wiped out and landed on his knee. He was on crutches, got an MRI and a trip to the disabled list seems almost certain, according to his manager. Adding insult to injury, the ballet move may have ended Huff’s career. The 35-year-old is in the final year of $22 million deal and is hitting just .155 with one homer. Nice knowing you, Aubrey.
We were going to run-down the list of dumbest sports injuries … but we already did that in a recent Playing the Field column. (We advice you to read that one again. Why? Two words: Kate Upton).
DeSean Jackson hits the Jaccpot
It’s no secret that a good majority of professional athletes want to be rappers. Likewise, a good majority of rappers want to be professional athletes. Usually we would advise people to stick with what they know best, but if you have a lot of money to throw around — and don’t mind embarrassing yourself — then by all means, shoot for platinum status.
DeSean Jackson has long flirted with a fledgling rap career, from his tight relationship with Uncle Snoop to a recent mixtape release. (For the record, Jackson revealed Thursday that his favorite rapper is 2 Chainz.) Now, the Eagles wide receiver is set to start his own music label, Jaccpot Records. Jackson will serve as CEO and the first official album will be done before training camp begins.
Some, mainly the older, out-of-touch sports columnists, are going to come down hard on DeSean. They will say it’s a dangerous game (see Chris Brown vs. Drake) and it might distract him from playing football. We’re not buying it — their opinion, that is, we will buy the album!
Remember, Jackson’s football career will eventually come to an end, either by injury or by choice. If he has something to fall back on, like a successful music label, he’ll be laughing all over the track. Musicians tour until they die, even when they stop making records. Need proof, New Edition is on tour … right now … with Bobby Brown.
Play me a song, piano man
We never tire of these videos. When rich, powerful couples hire famed PA announcers, commentators or sometimes use WWE intro themes to announce their nuptials at the wedding reception.
So we introduce this gem from the Jaquette-Perkins wedding, which featured legendary Chicago Bulls PA announcer Ray Clay. Yes, the same guy who introduced Michael Jordan on a nightly basis.
We’ve always said if a woman is dumb enough to marry us, it’s got to be Gus Johnson. No price would be too high to get his angelic vocal chords. Can you imagine him crooning, “Buckets” or “Instant Classic” or “Rise and Fire” at the reception? We could. We also could imagine a ton of his other catch phrases at the honeymoon.