Playing the Field: Sex, trash talk, bikinis at the 2012 London Olympics

We’re not the biggest fans of the Olympics. Let’s just get that out of the way. It seems to breed a sort of fake patriotism Oh, we have tremendous respect for all of the athletes and we’ll watch the big-time, legit sports like swimming, gymnastics, track and basketball — and, of course, beach volleyball.

Which brings us to a point of extreme pride in our country. Despite the USOC adopting a new rule permitting female players to compete in baggy shorts and T-shirts, the US team has vowed to wear bikinis. USA, USA, USA!

“This is the most comfortable thing for us to wear,” said team member Jen Kessy said. “We can style our bikinis however we want. They can be bigger or smaller.”

The Americans, led by Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, are favored again as they look to win their third straight Olympic gold.

Talk that talk, LeBron, dream on

For regular readers of this space, there’s no denying our intense disdain for LeBron James. He’s cocky beyond belief, a huge ego-maniac who seems to disappear in clutch situations (yes, we know he was Finals MVP but let’s be honest, not many of those games came down to the wire).

Those feeling aside, we applaud his recent proclamation that this year’s Olympic basketball team could beat the 1992 Dream Team — and not just because it comes on the heels of Kobe Bryant saying the exact same thing. James is first and foremost a competitor and any competitor that doesn’t believe in himself and his teammates is a fraud. (It’s also why we have no problem with Mike Vick declaring that he is trying to build a dynasty in Philadelphia. ).

So, in this instance, beat your chest loudly and proudly. We still think the Dream Team wins that one by at least 20 points .. but, hey, we respect your enthusiasm.

Not always good to be fast

Lastly, courtesy of BustedCoverage, we present the greatest ad in the history of advertising. It’s a billboard for Durex, which is a brand of condoms for all you Lolo Jones fans out there. Anyway, it’s hard (no pun intended) to do it justice through words, so click and thank us later.

Yes, they did. The best part might be the tag line: “Usain — not every man wants to be the fastest in the world.” This really ups the ante for a company like Trojan, right? We recommend the following campaigns:

» “London britches coming down … grab a Trojan.”

» “Rings? We got rings, too.” — obviously used to sell a different Trojan product

» “It will be hard to train for 2016 if you’re pregnant.”

» “Trojan. Proud sponsor of the Olympic village.”

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