Just do it.
That was Nike’s famous slogan back in the good old days, when Michael Jordan was dunking from the foul line and selling out Foot Locker.
So it only makes sense that a woman is offering her virginity for a pair of vintage Air Jordan sneakers and (we assume a Bulls) snapback. We couldn’t track down the original post on eBay’s website, so we can’t verify that this ad is true. Before you completely dismiss it, please take a minute to read the comment section. Priceless. The starting bid was $700.50, in case you’re interested.
This isn’t the first time a woman has tried to pawn her virginity. A while back a Chinese teen was selling her goods on China’s version of Twitter. All she wanted in return was an iPhone 4. Of course, famed Phillies superfan Susan Finkelstein graciously (and allegedly) offered sex for World Series tickets back in 2009. All in good fun, right?
We’re not here to judge. Whatever you want to do with your own body — as long as it falls within the legal limits — is fine. However, it did get us thinking about what some famous athletes might fetch in an online auction. Chew on these:
» AC Green: The Lakers star reportedly lasted until the ripe age of 38, at which time he got married, before doing the deed. He won three NBA titles and played in more consecutive games (1,192) than any other NBA player. That was the easy part. The hard part? Hanging with Magic Johnson.
Starting bid: $500
» Lolo Jones: The track and field superstar will be competing for gold at the Olympic Games in London this summer. However, don’t look for Jones to be sneaking around the Olympic Village at 2 a.m. or trying to steal Dwyane Wade away from Gabrielle Union. She’s a proud virgin who is saving herself for marriage.
Starting bid: $1,000
» Tim Tebow: We still find it amazing that he escaped college (and an SEC school) with his sheets unruffled. However, the Jets QB is on record declaring it’s true, so we’ll buy it. And living in Denver, the Mile High city, probably wasn’t easy, either. But now Tebow faces the ultimate test: playing in the Big Apple. He’s already been offered $1 million for proof.
Starting bid: $10,000
I got the need for speed
Reds closer Aroldis Chapman’s fastball can hit 105-mph on the radar gun. He can also hit 93-mph on the Interstate. And Chapman’s license has been suspended — again.
Chapman was arrested early Monday morning for driving over the posted speed limit. It’s the fourth time he’s been caught speeding in the past two years, including a suspension as recently as Feb. 15.
Just one question here: If Chapman can only hit 93-mph on the highway, how fast can everyone’s favorite baseball geezer, Jamie Moyer, get on the speedometer? We’re going to guess that Moyer can hit at least 78-mph, which would match the speed of his fastball.
Iverson has ball, will play
Allen Iverson is a Philadelphia icon, one of the few players that the city will always embrace — no matter what he does off the basketball court. He poured his heart and soul out every night for the Sixers, and the fans will never forget that.
However, his presence at Game 7 of the Sixers-Celtics playoff series was a reminder of just how far the mighty can fall. Iverson, dressed in a Lou Williams jersey, was moved to tears when he was introduced to the crowd. Then, he pined about still wanting to play professional basketball in a mid-game interview.
With all due respect and sincerest apologies, the dream’s over, Allen. Sorry, that’s our final Answer. But if you want to help Iverson’s financial state, then buy some shoes. He is reportedly re-launching his Reebok sneaker brand with the help of hip-hop artist Swizz Beatz.