Let’s face it — you made some bad decisions tonight and ordering that fourth rum and coke was just one of them. Now you’re drunk, hungry and want to stuff your face with something horrifically bad for you to soak up all of the alcohol careening through your system. This is the perfect time to indulge because the drunk version of you doesn’t care about fat, carbs or sugar — just as long as you can have something with all of it as soon as possible. Here’s our list of the best drunk food in Philly to help you on your quest for late night nom-noms.
David’s Mai Lai Wah
1001 Race St.
If you’re wandering around Chinatown after midnight in a drunken haze, David’s Mai Lah Wah is your light in the dark. Open until 3 a.m. daily, they’ve got plenty of options for meat eaters and vegetarians alike. Try the salt ‘n pepper chicken wings — you get 10 for only $6. The vegetable dumplings are also a good choice and a bargain for only $5.25.
Philly Style Pizza and Grill
2010 N. Broad St.
Oh, college. There never seems to be enough pizza. Luckily you can get your fill until 3 a.m. Thursdays through Saturdays at Philly Style Pizza and Grill near Temple’s campus. Sunday through Wednesday, they stay open until 11 p.m. Not in the mood for pizza? They’ve got hoagies, wraps, wings and even salads, too — but there’s no fun in eating salad drunk. Go for the large Hawaiian pizza. And then get yourself a cheesecake!
You know what the beautiful thing about Wawa is? No matter how sloppy drunk you are, it’s always there for you. Sure, your friends might be embarrassed by your current state, but Wawa welcomes you with open arms, 24 hours a day, without judgement. And oh, the variety! Craving a hoagie? Get one made to order, just the way you like it. Dying to devour a pint of Ben and Jerry’s with a side of Oreo’s? They’ve got you covered.
1501 Snyder Ave.
Looking for a cozy bargain in South Philly with tons of history? Like their old jingle used to say, “Everyone who knows goes to Melrose.” Open since 1935, this adorable diner will have you feeling snug as a drunken bug in a rug. You can get food 24 hours a day and choose from breakfast, lunch and dinner options. At 4 a.m., a stack of pancakes will hit the spot. Don’t forget to buy a tub of their butter cookies on the way out.
Pat’s King of Steaks
1237 E. Passyunk Ave.
Cheesesteaks are the ultimate drunk food. And living in Philly, you’re in the perfect place to indulge. Pat’s King of Steaks, the inventor of the steak sandwich back in 1930, is open 24 hours a day, so you have plenty of time to get your fix no matter how late you stay out. Since your ability to speak without slurring is nonexistent at this point, maybe it would be best to have a friend order for you or practice saying “wiz wit” to yourself before getting into line.
Jerry’s Kitchen Food Truck
3225 Arch St.
When they’re not catering a special event, Jerry’s Kitchen has a food truck on the corner of 33rd and Arch on Drexel’s campus. Their late night offerings include vegetarian, vegan and gluten free grub (and regular meat too, don’t worry). Fried mac and cheese balls anyone? Savory bread pudding bites? Yum!
2401 E. Norris St.
Late night tacos might be the best thing ever and Loco Pez in Fishtown hits the spot every time. They’re open for dinner until 1 a.m. all week and you can nosh on chips and guacamole with your drunken compadres for only $8.25. When it comes to the tacos, they’re all delicious and pretty affordable, but don’t leave without trying the chorizo and potato. Also, remember to bring cash, because it’s a cash-only establishment.
So where are your favorite spots to eat when you’re drunk? Tell us and we’ll check it out.