The Word: Chris Brown is killing us

We’re certain about very few — increasingly few — things over here, but one of them is that no one watches “Good Morning America.” So allow us to recap Chris Brown’s appearance yesterday:

While promoting his new album, “F.A.M.E.,” the singer became noticeably uncomfortable when the conversation turned toward ex-girlfriend Rihanna, who he notoriously plead guilty to assaulting two years ago. Did he childishly try to deflect the questions and talk about how “F.A.M.E.” hilariously, impossibly stands for “Forgive All My Enemies”? Yes, but it would have barely registered on the gossip radar.

Unfortunately, after the interview he proceeded to throw a fit that warranted a call to police, smash a dressing room window above Broadway and then leave the building without a shirt on, according to TMZ’s sources and photos.

All of which, Chris, will not only interest those probation officers who are still annoyingly hung-up on that whole Rihanna thing, but every single morning show host for at least the next two weeks.

Michael Lohan arrested

At the very real risk of fueling the Lohan fire, we should probably tell you that Michael Lohan was arrested Monday evening on domestic violence charges after a dispute with ex-girlfriend Kate Major. She suffered “visible injuries,” according to TMZ; he was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after complaining of chest pain. Daughter Lindsay is expected to plead “no contest” on Friday in her own attempt to avoid jail time over a necklace she allegedly stole.

James Franco hosted sober — we think

James Franco is on a Twitter campaign against Bruce Vilanch after the Oscar writer gently suggested Franco wasn’t prepared for the gig. And as much as we like a Twitter fight/excuse to hunt for Franco photos on our image service, we’ve got to side with Vilanch here. Not only were his comments pretty tame, but he also dispelled rumors that the actor was as high as he’s been since “Pineapple Express”: “No, he wasn’t high,” Vilanch tells “I was with him, and he wasn’t high. And I asked him, ‘Are you high, and can I have some?’ And he said no to both.”

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