Worst of Craigslist: Occupy the Mummers

Craigslist is a hodgepodge of current events – surprisingly topical, yet at the same time, weirdly incoherent. Two subjects that garnered a lot of discussion this week? The Occupy movement and the Mummers’ Downtowners’ prostitution sting. Mix in some off-the-wall opinions, a whole lot of sex and third-grade potty talk and you have this week’s Worst of Craigslist.

Finally, someone suggests a concrete, workable goal for the Occupy movement.

Then there’s this.

Christmas Village should clearly be at the top of our list of concerns, what with a global movement of thousands expressing their frustration with the current socioeconomic system coming to roost in our city’s backyard. Also, Dilworth Plaza construction will most likely boot ’em by then.

Definitely should’ve taken out the “licensed massage therapists” part in light of recent events. Just sayin’.

And they would only use the float every second Tuesday.

The two best looking ones by far, but “an honor and a privilege?” Where the eff have you been hanging out?

Laziest pimp ever. You can’t even get in your hooptie and troll the streets or hit a mall or something? Damn the technologization of America.

Yeah, fuck Ethan Allen with their overpriced home goods and underwhelming design aesthetic. OCCUPY KING OF PRUSSSIA MALL!

Sure, go to a multiple-partner stranger hotel orgy with alcohol and poppers, but draw the line at good old-fashioned drugs. Way too much risk involved.

Who doesn’t enjoy a nice, invigorating lunchtime circle jerk?

Way to be subtle, dude. FYI: Wink wink is the opposite of inconspicuous.

The two actually don’t mix that well, physiologically or logistically. Sure, you’ll be having a good (limp) time til you wake up with an OD’d hooker in your bed. Also, attempting to exploit peoples’ habits for sex makes you kind of a douche.

Not sure it’s “bad luck” so much as “a propensity for seeking out guys on Craigslist.”

It sounds like what you really want is someone to talk about your incest issues with.

I don’t want to impose a double standard here, but why does this seem so much creepier than female topless maid services? I think it’s because it’s free. And he’s so goddamn enthusiastic.

And I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve had an uncontrolled outburst. ‘Namean?

Damn. I know they say breaking up is hard to do, but this is fucking insane.

More from our Sister Sites