Worst of Craigslist: Philly Politics

Craigslist is not the place where normal people go to discuss political views and current events. For that, there are public spaces, places of employment and about a dozen more popular Internet message boards that people actually read.

That said, there are a few subtypes who find Craigslist to be a satisfying outlet for this type of talk.

Generally not interested in actual conversation, these posters are kind of like the people with picket signs and megaphones who holler at you on the crosswalk as you wait for the light to change.

I imagine ranting on Craigslist is like yelling into the wind.

And what makes Philadelphians yell the most? Politics, race and sports.

Morally-outraged but totally out-of-touch religious nuts who lament about the decline of society while spewing hate. This Darwin-award-winner’s rant is a rousing endorsement for Pennsylvania middle schools before they were taken over by eleven-year-old girls spreading “gayism.”

Panicking end-of-the-world-ers who rant under the guise of offering sage advice. Because Soon We’ll All Be Living In The Dark In Our Basements.

Opportunists who cultivate the strange. Of course, behind every fringe group is a reality TV producer trying to capitalize on their weirdness.

Caps-lock ranters who make dramatic calls for action they know will never be answered. Let me know how storming the White House goes for you … all three of you.

Rittenhouse douchebags who can’t agree with their own neighbors about how short the grass should be cut but have the political situation in Somalia all figured out. That is all.

People that don’t know much about the topic at hand (e.g. sports) but love to go on about certain overhyped figures (e.g. Vick’s salary, like he’s the only pro athlete that’s ridiculously paid). If the Eagles paid Vick $50 million less, none of the extra money would go to you — or to Philadelphia’s starving poor.

That one person who communicates almost exclusively in Internet memes. There’s always that one person.

The obliviously blatant hypocrite. You’re wishing a catastrophic injury on another human being and Vick’s the lowlife?

A quintessential Philly Craigslist politics post. Half-assed, politically cynical, vaguely racial AND lamenting society’s decline. With picture.

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