Worst of Craigslist: Sex that Can Get You Arrested

Whether it’s incest, getting it on in public bathrooms, dressing rooms or the corner of a bar, masturbating outside or flashing balls at public gatherings, Craigslist’s boards were flooded with people into illegal sex yesterday.

And a ton of other weird shit, too.

Bucks County is really up on the breaking news lately. Watch out for spontaneous barn combustion, ya hear?

The horror.

I would like to hear more about the Bible … then give you a homosexual blowjob.

You can just tell this post was written by a guy who would wear a knockoff Affliction polo shirt before even seeing the picture.

Worst prayer ever. God is totally not going to be down with helping you commit adultery.

This guy definitely sounds like a cuddler. And shyt.

If you really wanted your own hell on earth, you’d move to Kensington and Allegheny or Broad and Snyder. Otherwise, cut the demon shit; it freaks people out.

Guess there really is someone for everybody.

Same thought, exhibit B:

I don’t know which is more of a dealbreaker, a powder blue suit or a random companion pushing a bucket on a dolly.

It’s just you. More specifically, it’s all the meth you’ve been doing.

“Mammaries?” Really? Tell the truth: did you just type “boobs” into Thesaurus.com?

Awww, young love.

At least he’s honest.

I prefer Hispanics to go with my porn and wine.

Aand this is how you get arrested .

“Outback” like in your yard? Again, this is how people get arrested.

For the third time …

Once again … damn.

And to round things out, future-felon-wise:

People use Crisco for that? I’ll never look at a homemade batch of cookies the same way again.

I think the only way simple acts of kindness can be mistaken for sex is if those simple acts of kindness involve … sex.

Maybe this is why cops rarely bust Craigslist sex solicitations.

Sex because naked Scarlett Johanssen got hacked? You realize that’s only cause for celebration amongst porn-obsessed fanboys, right?

I would rewrite the script so I would never, ever have to think about this again.

I’m not really into incest, I just fantasize about it constantly.

For some reason, this strikes me as creepier than the posters who just wanna bone.

Only in Delco. Maybe South Jersey or parts of Port Fishington too, but especially Delco.

I think the real lesson here is don’t buy a computer from some random guy with missing teeth you met on Craigslist.

I don’t know if this is an ad for a band, but it was clearly written by someone with a graphic imagination and a fair amount of internalized rage.


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