Worst of Craigslist: Stranger Sex at (and before, during and after) Work

I haven’t been keeping up the past day or two, which is kind of my fault and kind of your fault, because goddamn, can’t you go a day without shooting each other (multiple times), Philadelphians?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am one of you, but I am obviously not out shooting people because I’m in the office / on assignment all day (and most nights) writing about you guys shooting people.

So please, I beg you, give me a light crime day so I don’t have to stay at work until all hours of the night writing this blog. There are tons of reasons to stop the violence, but if for nothing else, do it for me?

Anyway, I realized two things while perusing yesterday’s Craigslist posts. A) Philadelphians have a thing for uniforms, be it sports-related fanaticism or a whole other tip entirely. B) Lots of people schedule random stranger sex into their work days. Like, a surprising amount.

Philly sports fans are so crazy (read: awesome) that supporters of other teams have to post to find game buddies.

Loving the football metaphor.

Some people just have a thing for uniforms (even when that uniform is making sure their father doesn’t make a shiv out of a toothbrush or whatever).

Or watching them get their junk poked (full disclosure: I have no idea what a male check-up actually entails).

And the sex at work thing! It actually amazes me how seamlessly people schedule it into their day. Like on their lunch breaks.

Or during fake interviews.

Before work.

And on the way to work.

I mean, based on my perusal of Casual Encounters, like 10 percent of people must be getting it on at area offices at any given time. No wonder window blinds are so popular!

Sex at work AND a woman in uniform? It’s like the Craigslist trifecta (bifecta?)

You heard that? Oh, I’m sorry, it was just the sound of my passive aggression causing my internal organs to implode.

A website people solicit goods and services and then other people provide said products in exchange for a fee? Who’s ever heard of such a thing?

I don’t know what the fuck this thing is, but I want it. Bad.

Unfortunately, posting pictures of cuddling cats on Craigslist is probably not going to further your goal.

So is this a missed connection with the dude or his dog?

And I hope you go out on your boat some day when the forecast calls for sunshine and are tossed overboard during a freak thunderstorm.

I doubt this response is really from Channel 6, but I like to imagine the weather team huddled around the computer like, “Yeah, fuck that guy!”

Use it to pay for 1/8th of a room for the night or perhaps a room service sandwich?

This guy has a really good memory … and a really persistent conscience.

13th Street between Chancellor and Pine. You’re welcome.

I don’t know … 800 number, promises of love / health / finance help. You say “miracle,” I say “mystic.”

I love how she writes her own bio and still manages to quote … herself.

It wouldn’t be a South Philly moving sale without at least one fake topiary.

Is Texas-speak a dialect of English, or a whole other language?

The problem with you is that you’re the least silent opposition EVER, right down to the patriotic music on your ridiculous website. Also,
you’re named after a toy store.

Are they the same pair of purple pants every time? I mean, who owns multiple pairs of purple pants?

I think there is another word that more accurately describes a “paid kissing friend” ’round these parts.

Well there’s something you didn’t see ten years ago. How do the 12-year-old-Jennys down the street compete anymore? Maybe we are headed for complete economic collapse.

Who hasn’t been known to wear women’s undergarments on occasion?

Innovative workout plan. Props.

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