Worst of Craigslist Weekend: Buying and Selling Drugs on the Internet

This weekend, seven people were killed. And the city turned to Craigslist for some all-American forms of comfort, like drugs, sex, and weird fetishes.

Are you fucking kidding me, dude? Worst idea ever.

In fact, what is up with all the soliciting and selling drugs on Craigslist in general? You don’t have real-life friends or a street corner you could try?

You don’t have a healthy fear of Big Brother monitoring your every keystroke?

You don’t have any fucking sense?

Or is this something that actually works for people?

There are just. so. many. Rough weekend?

And is trading sex for drugs prostitution? Not that that’s frowned on too much Craigslist-wise, either.

You already have a foot fetish. What you are looking for is feet.

If your European sedan is so fucking luxurious, why can’t you drive it your goddamn selves?

I admire your pragmatism and brevity.

Oh, the escort agency is Italian-owned? It’s all good, then.

Because when you spell boys with a “z,” it makes the request sound so much tougher.

Freudian slip there, Markeith?

Pretty sure that is the opposite of platonic.

I think this is one case where “fake it ’til you make it” won’t work out so well. In fact, it’s pretty creepy.

This lady just won’t quit. I have to say, there is an element of sharp wit to her otherwise-crazy rants that I deeply enjoy.

Maybe you should’ve figured that out before you bought the home office suite.

They only eat their babies when they’re really hungry. That’s not weird or creepy or anything.

So, basically, you’re looking for a dominatrix.

I imagine that, given the type of mother-daughter teams willing to pose nude together, fulfilling the white trash theme shouldn’t be much of a reach.

Lay off the coke, buddy. I mean, “cerebral stimulants.”

Because what’s an upscale event without nude shot girls?

We don’t discriminize … but we also have no idea what the fuck we’re doing.

How would an interview with a big thigh fetish stocking model go? Like, “Hi, do you have big thighs? Are you willing to wear stockings for my sexual gratification?”

Wireless walkman device … is that like an iPod?

No comment. I’m already a big fan.

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